Panda Girl on the Run

“As long we have the road, the ramblings and each other to look forward to, it’s all going to be all right. Bring it on, life — we’re laced up and ready.” – Nancy Townsley

… you can. Can what? ( You may ask. ) You can run a mile or even, a marathon. If only you try.

“Do you think you can do it?”, someone asked me this after I told her I’m going to run a marathon. I shrugged and replied, “I’ll try”. Of course, I didn’t tell her that I’ve already run in one before.

In a few days’ time, I’m going to do ( by this, I mean run ) my second marathon. In light of what happened in  Boston  a few days ago, I worry about another thing. It used to be that I only worry about the distance and the way my body will react under much physical and mental stress, for hours on the road. Now, I think more about safety—mine and the other runners, the spectators and all the people involve in the event. I know that come May 5th I won’t only be thinking about my time or how I desperately wants to be at the finish line and get it over with. I know  I will also be thinking about what happened in Boston and hope that it won’t be an issue here. My sister told me in jest, “You should go and make your own finish line.” Yeah, right.

Running is believing that….

There are things in life that we can’t predict  will happen, much less, control. Like, the workings of a twisted mind of certain individuals, who thinks that killing and maiming innocent people is their way of getting attention to their radical views. And for the general public to cower in fear will only feed their illusion that they’re in control.

Running has taught me a lot about being brave in spite of fear and to venture out of my comfort zone. If not for that ( well, aside from the “I can eat anything” part ), I won’t be running at all. A marathon will test one’s pain tolerance and mental toughness. Not to mention  faith.

Believing you can run is one thing but believing you can run and finish a marathon is a whole lot different. Yes, there are “people” out there who”ll spoil the “fun” for us, but still a marathon will remain a testament of our will power, camaraderie and belief in the inherent goodness of mankind.

On a personal note, running is believing that come said date, I have the courage to stand at the start line with the other runners and the strength to forge ahead in the last few miles ( especially when my legs are already tired and I’m just about ready to crawl my way back ) and meet my sister at the finish line and hear her say, “What took you so long?”

Wobble on Panda.

I hate to admit it but  I’m afraid—of something that I can only “understand.” And then, there is procrastination. The more I tell myself that I need to run often, I find it easier to come up with excuses not to. I can’t say that it is time to “taper” because I didn’t even “train.”

So, to ease my mind and to partly calm my nerves, I take note of these quotes and try to seek solace in them. Hopefully, they’ll work.

“Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.” – Mohandas Gandhi

Enough said.

“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” – T. S. Eliot

Wobble on Panda.

Jump with joy when I get to the finish line. Although, I’m not really sure of the “jump with joy” part because by that time, my legs are probably stiff and numb. And there’s nothing more I want than to get my finisher’s medal, change into dry and clean clothes and eat lots.

This will be my second time doing this marathon but I still feel anxious and excited. I fear of the unknown come May 5th and the days leading to it. But, I’m also excited. A lot has change since then but I know, it will feel a lot like the first time.

“I think I run my strongest when I run with joy, with gratitude, with focus, with grace. With that strategy in place I can push myself for pleasure not punishment. Maybe you can only really go when you let go.” – Kristin Armstrong

I toyed with the idea of doing another marathon a few months after I did my first. I hesitated to start with but eventually gave in. It has more to do of having something to look forward to of doing, rather than the mere thought of simply having done it. Makes sense?

I still don’t call myself a “runner” even if I do run a few times a week. And not a “marathoner” even if I did one already. Maybe , if I do two or more, then I’d be more comfortable calling myself as one. My sister tells me I’m crazy for liking running so much that I’d do a marathon. But, she supports and cheer me on. I can’t complain.

So, my goal for this coming marathon? Aside from jumping with joy at the finish line, is to have a great time.  To be in the moment and bask in all the beauty and action around me. And run, of course.

Wobble on Panda.

The thought of being on the road ( and no, I won’t be on a tour or a road trip ), literally on my feet for like more than five hours  seem now,  a daunting task to me. Of course, I didn’t think about this, when a couple of months ago, I boldly asked someone to sign me up for the BMO Vancouver Marathon. It was like, okay I’m registered, life goes on.

The past two months have been great. I get to run more often and ventured on places that I would have never gone to if I’m not into running. I’m lucky to have people around me, who supports my “insane” idea of fun. My sister for one, who  thinks I’m crazy but still go along with it anyway.

I don’t have a training plan. I go by how I feel or what works for me on a particular day. That way, each outing on the road is made more fun and exciting, never mind if I run on the same route every time.

“There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.” – Beverly Sills (American operatic soprano )

So, for the past two months, I did around 100 miles, which is not much, considering the event I’ll be doing come spring. But I learn ( from experience ) that the human body can do wonders when you let your mind takes over.

As for “nutrition” ( this sound so technical but I can’t think of another word ), I eat anything. Perhaps, if I’m hell-bent on following a strict diet, I’d be skinny by now. But life is short and I’m not keen on “depriving” myself.  I don’t run  so I can feel justified to have that extra slice of cheesecake or pie; have a glass of wine; a bowl of chips and seconds of everything during dinner. And loads of coffee too. I run because it gets me to my “happy place” and the “I can eat anything” part is just a bonus.

Last time I checked on my Facebook, I came across this status message from the BMO Vancouver Marathon’s Facebook page…

“How are you going to reward yourself after you reach your goal?”

A shower and change of clothes comes to mind. Nothing beats a warm shower after a run. Then there’s food ( of course ! ), “I’m not myself when I’m hungry” and after a marathon, I’d be way beyond normal ‘hungry’. But seriously, to run the full distance and finish it “alive” and in “one piece” is a reward in itself.

Wobble on Panda.

When I first realized that I had to move to another country far different from where I was born and grew up, I was both excited and reluctant to go. One of the things that concerned me at that time was, of course, my running. Especially during winter, I mean, how am I suppose to run when there’s snow and all. I just started running and I feared that my new-found passion would be lost amidst the shuffle and craziness of adjusting to a new country and life.

Three winters later, I found out that I worried for nothing. I live somewhere in Vancouver Island, British Columbia, where we only get snow from time to time, if we’re lucky. But not as much or as heavy compared to the other parts of Canada. It is rain that I have to contend with and sometimes, on a daily basis. I learned to like it somehow. I’d rather it’d be raining on any given day.

A day like this is more than welcome.

It’s winter and the fact that I still get to go out there and run, never fails to amaze me. I always thought that during this time of the year, it snows everyday and the sun is nowhere to be found. Imagine my surprise and wonder,  when I was proven wrong. I was like, this is cool. Sometimes, when it is a sunny day and I’m out, running, I slowed down, looked up at the skies, with eyes closed and basked in the warmth of the sun against my face. For awhile there, I thought I’m back home but then, my cold and numb hands tells me otherwise.

At first, I was keen on properly preparing myself for winter runs. Like screws for my runners ( for traction ); running mitts; toque; running tights—basically, to keep myself warm and dry. Turned out I was way over my head with worrying too much. I have yet to run on snow so I don’t need screws for my shoes. Although I’m fond of my running tights now. It helps keep the cold at bay. I use my running mitts when it’s really cold. I learned to dress in layers and have a bright-colored outer one for visibility. On a side note, a warm shower after a chilly jaunt on the road is heaven.

“In the depths of winter I finally learned there was in me an invincible summer.” – Albert Camus

Where I’m at now, I’m glad that the climate is not that extreme. It’s cold and chilly most of the time but I adapted to it. There are days when I can go out without the need for a jacket or coat. As for the rain, well, it won’t go away.

So far, my running is doing good. I get the usual aches and pains but other than that, I’m okay. And since I signed up for a spring event, I need to get out there more often. But I feel lazy sometimes, that I’d rather “hibernate” ( it is winter, after all ) and read my book. Except for that one day, when a plate filled of chocolate chip cookies and brownies, made me change my mind and head out of the door.

Wobble on Panda.

“Do not think that what is hard for you to master is humanly impossible; if it is humanly possible, consider it to be within your reach.” – Marcus Aurelius

It’s unlike of me to ask someone a favor. At the back of  my mind, I fear that the answer to my request will be “NO”. But for the sake of “running”, I did something way out of the ordinary and did it, hoping that the answer would be yes. And indeed, it was a YES. I couldn’t be happier.

You’re wondering, so where does this little spiel leads to? Well, the thing is, I get to signed up for my second marathon. Thanks to Rita.

With a race just around the corner ( like 3 months from now ), I need to “train” ( in my case, run as often as possible ). I learn to do away with a “training plan”, might as well, since I won’t be able to follow it anyway. Besides it takes away the fun.

So, what made me decide to register for another race? Pain and suffering, perhaps. Yes, I’m a sucker for it. And I like to think I’m hard core. ( Yeah right. ) Or probably, I’m just crazy, as what my sister points out to me. Or better yet, because it is meant to be. How’s that for inspiration?

Now that I have a “big run” looming ahead, I have to whip myself up into “run” mode ( not that it’s extremely difficult to do ). I even think of asking someone ( that is, if I can muster enough courage to do so ) to do a long run with me. I’ll wait and see. And in the mean time, I’ll run by myself and have fun.

Wobble on Panda.

Running is pretty basic, I think. You just have to put one foot in front of the other and go from there. When I started running, I used to think a lot about whether I’m doing it right or wrong. Whether I run long enough or fast enough. And it didn’t went well for me. I ended up getting hurt ( for the most part ), which was no fun.

Eventually, I learn to run for running’s sake. I don’t track the miles I do every week ( if I’m lucky ) or the calories I consume every meal ( I always have seconds and sometimes, more ). I learn to run for “fun” and it has been good, so far.

Every run is unique. And it doesn’t matter if I run on the same route. My run from a few days ago won’t be the same as the run I’ll do on my days off. So, there’s always something new.

I run for the simple reason that I enjoy doing it and don’t have to be with someone to do it. Although I don’t mind the company, sometimes. ( Like what Rita and I did one Sunday morning, we ran down to the bay. It was good. ) Besides, the only occasion that I get to run with other people is when I run in a race, which doesn’t happen often.

I run for the “high”. Mind you, I’m not into drugs. I find that something “magical” or “amazing” happens during a run. Usually, it’s when I transcend the pain and fatigue and my labored breathing become music to my ears. And then I think about what I’ll eat when I get back to the house. Never fails to perk me up.

I run because I love them desserts.

I run to be simply out there. Being outside is always a welcome change.

I run so I can eat “anything” ( like almost an entire plateful of Yorkshire pudding, I know, I’m bad ) I like without having to worry about getting fat. ( Well, I used to be overweight when I started running and gradually lose a few pounds along the way.) I hardly say “No” when it comes to food and I am especially fond of desserts.

I run to keep my mind “sharp”. The crossword helps too.

I run because I can. Enough said.

Wobble on Panda.

January 1, 2012. Running Room’s Resolution Run

It all started in 2009. At that time, I was fat and indulged in fast foods most of the time. Unplanned, I got myself hooked to running. I willed my body to get out of bed at the crack of dawn and go to the nearby track to do laps. Then I signed up for my first 5K run. And the rest, they say, is my story.

A few months after I got “addicted”, I moved to Canada. For awhile there, I was too lazy to go out and run. I was homesick and was still adjusting to my new life. Gradually I found my groove again and started running. At first, two miles or so, then slowly, I increased the distance. ( Back home, the longest I’ve run was 10 kilometers. And that time, it was a big deal for me. ) One day, I was inspired to run from my place of work to my aunt’s place, which was roughly 6 miles. I was so happy afterward. I couldn’t stop bragging about it to my sister. ( Never mind that I got lost along the way and had to ask someone for directions. )

I prefer to run alone though I don’t mind running with someone. Anyway, the only time I run with a group is when I join a race. Since coming to Canada, I ran in a few races. I did 10K in Nanaimo last 2010. In 2011, I ran in my first half-marathon in Vancouver and the second one in Vancouver Island. And did my first “ultra” ( The Great Lake Walk in Lake Cowichan ) on the side.

My first marathon finisher’s medal. Nice, eh?

I kicked off 2012 with a 5K run ( Running Room’s Resolution Run ), just for the heck of it. Turned out it was my first sub-30 5K run so far. Four months later, I ran in my first marathon in Vancouver. It’s one of my happiest moment for this year. And one item ticked off from my “running” bucket list.

Running has made a huge difference in my life. And it’s not so much about being physically fit and all.  It has more to do about how I mature as a person. I’m a lot more laid-back now and forgiving of my faults and shortcomings. And those of others too, I hope.  A lot of what happen in my life, whether it’d be good or bad–I learned to look at in a different perspective. And  I don’t necessarily dwell on the crappy part of it. Thanks to slogging it out on the road.

I’m glad I made that decision ( to start running ) three years ago. I have no regrets. Sure, there’s the occasional aches and pains but it’s all part of the deal. Besides, I’m up for it.

Running will always be awesome. With a new year just around the corner, I hope for more “awesome” runs to come.

Wobble on Panda.

The best part of running is “recovery.”

After much prodding, I finally coaxed myself to sit down and write a post before November disappears into oblivion. I could come up with an excuse, like there’s not enough time. But the thing is, time is not the issue. Perhaps, I’ve run out of things to write about and can’t think of any. I would have love to write everything that transpires when I go out for a run. The days leading to it and the days after, even the hours after. What I think and feel when I’m out on the road.  Things like that. I actually do a lot of thinking when I’m running. Random thoughts and sometimes, weird ones. I always have this grand idea to put into words all the thoughts that run amok in my mind. Unfortunately, by the time I get back home, I’m starving and cold. All coherent thoughts vanish and is replace with an urgent need to eat and change into dry clothes.

I love November, probably because it’s my birth month. There’s something about upcoming birthdays that makes me happier. Of course, it’s not because of presents. It’s more about being alive and well to have another birthday. Never mind about getting old because that’s part of it. My birthday is coming up but don’t worry, I’m not going to barrage you with another shameless plug. Although, I may be tempted to come up with one again, this time running-related.

From where I’m at now, November is cold and always wet. And dark, gloomy and sometimes, foggy. ( Feel free to have it in any order. ) Most of the days are conducive to snuggling under the covers and sleep. As per, my observation. I haven’t done it though. I even have to “force” myself to sleep in on my days off, to no avail.

It just occur to me that I still feel awkward when someone say that I’m a runner. Maybe to a non-runner ( is there such a word? ), I am. And yet, I don’t consider myself as one. But when I’m out there, clad in various running accouterments, I do feel like a runner.

I run mostly on my days off, which is like, two days a week. And sometimes, down to only one. I used to be able to sneak a short run during the week but not anymore. Good thing, I’m not training for  a race . Although, I’m thinking of signing up for one, hopefully, when my life will be in order.

I mentioned earlier about doing a lot of thinking when I run. Maybe I do this to pass away the time and break the monotonous act of putting one foot in front of the other, while I huff and puff at the same time.  I do notice that my brain is in overdrive and I wish it has a mechanism of some sort to file away all my thoughts and I can retrieve them later when I’m ready. That would be neat, don’t you think?

One Sunday, while I was on the road, literally all by myself, I thought about how cool it would be if I have a clone. So I have someone to run with anytime. It wouldn’t be so much about having someone to talk to but rather, having someone to have my back when unexpected things happen. ( I still think about bears or cougars materializing in front of me. )

My runs nowadays consist of not only enduring my favorite “hill” but also trying to stay warm and dry, which when it comes to the “staying warm” part, I think, I fail miserably. My hands are already freezing even before I step outside. The running mitts, that I occasionally wear, helps a bit but not quite. Still, running in the rain and cold is a small price to pay for the chance to get out there and run. Besides, when I get to the point where my energy is sap and my legs feel like dead weight, I put on Kesha’s “Your Love Is My Drug” on repeat and “sprint” the last few meters back to the house.

And one other thing, I’m ecstatic to learned that my best friend likes running too.  ( I hope this is not only a one-time thing. ) She won 5th place in a race at a school meet. I’m excited for her and gladly offer to buy her a proper running shoes. I just wish I’m there so we can run together, side by side. ( Well, I’m not sure about this, she might think I run so slow and just take off and leave me behind. ) The best part will be the post-run grub. We’re not best friends for nothing. Keep running, my bumblebee.

Wobble on Panda.

A marathon is akin to Mt. Everest to us, mere recreational runners. It is something one should do once in their life and tick off from their bucket list. Since I started running, a marathon was something I have to do eventually. I was bold enough to declare it, that I’d do it before I reach 40. Luckily, I was able to. Five months ago, I ran and finished my first marathon in Vancouver. The experience was surreal and incredible. The journey was life-changing.

Okay, I say the experience was incredible. You might ask, why? What make it so? The fact that I ran 26.2 miles ( 42.195 kilometers ) alone makes it incredible. And the mixture of emotions while doing it, adds to the drama. I’ve read about people describe their experience when they run a marathon and reach the finish line. To those who are not into running, this activity is viewed as some form of “insanity”. No one in their “right” mind would subject themselves to 26.2 miles ( 42.195 kilometers ) worth of physical pain and mental torture. Still, marathon races around the world are a huge hit.

So, why the marathon? What makes it so special and formidable, anyway? The distance and the possible things that can happen along the way makes it some kind of a standard to measure someone’s grit and resolve to plod on. Every runner has her or his own reasons for running in one. Mine was simply to find out if I can do it ( and get the finisher’s medal on the side ). Mind you, it’s not that easy though. Somehow, when you set your mind on a “marathon” , you set yourself up for something big ( and giving up is not an option, by the way ) and have loads of fun, that others find it incomprehensible. But then, life is complicated and full of incomprehensible stuff. A marathon is just one of them.

When I decided to run my first marathon, I had no “set in stone” kind of training plan. I ran whenever I can, which was usually during my days off. Long runs and tempo runs were not part of it. I simply run. And praying ( that come race day, I’ll make it ) helped too. On race day, I battled doubts and even thought of excuses not to go ahead with it. Good thing, my sister was with me at that time.

The long and arduous journey toward the finish line is also as enjoyable and painful ( at times ) as the race itself. So after my spectacular experience in Vancouver, I’m now setting my sights on another one. I come to love the suspense and “torture” that goes along with it.

I’m all for another jaunt on the road ( again! ), enjoy the surroundings and have fun.

“The difference between the mile and the marathon is the difference between burning your fingers with a match and being slowly roasted over hot coals.”  - Hal Higdon

Wobble on Panda.